About Me

Speaking My Mind

I lately have been dealing with the difficulty of speaking my mind.

Often, there is so much to say that I feel overwhelmed by the words approaching my throat, that the voice gets bottled up, and… I can’t speak.

This happens when:

A) What I want to say is too complicated and I want to say too many things at once to communicate the right nuance

B) When I worry that what I am about to say is not going to be understood the way I intend it

C) I am not sure what I can and cannot say–a case of heavy self-censorship

D) I don’t have confidence in the person (or people) listening to understand what I am saying or why I am saying what I am saying

On the other hand, I can fall into verbal diarrhea. That’s when I can’t stop talking. This happens when:

A) I have confidence that the person I am talking to is going to understand what I am trying to say

B) I have been  silent for too long and there is stuff that I just have to get out (This doesn’t happen as much in recent years thanks to Misha’s generous ears)

Sometimes this happens in appropriate settings, and sometimes not. The other day I felt like I took over an entire conversation for a whole meal, which I felt a little bad about. Hopefully, it didn’t bother the others too much.

On a completely unrelated note, I ran a half-marathon this past Sunday. It was fun, but because I couldn’t train for it adequately, I am suffering the aftereffects of over-taxing my body.

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