I don’t know if my expectations are wrong or what, but I find having open dialogue concerning religious observance level nearly impossible around here.
I want to know: what are your Kashrut standards?
I want to tell you: what my Kashrut standards are (and whatever else you might consider relevant to that).
That way, together we can come to the decision of how much dishware and utensils we can share.
I am not offended if my standards do not allow me to share my cooking ware with others. But many people seem to have this attitude that it would be embarrassing for both of us if we should find out that we cannot completely mutually share everything at all times. Weird… That seems to stand on the premise that if you cannot completely share, you don’t want to share at all.
I understand and assume that all of us and all of our households are different in many ways. I want to share where I can and be okay with not sharing where one of us feels uneasy.
No, it’s not “rude” to ask about “personal” things when it is related to larger communal issues or your home too. Considering each household business strictly personal and private seems very Victorian English well-to-do society-ish behavior for no good reason to me.
For me, the fact that many people assume a lot of things about our Kashrut standards and religious practice standards based on one of our institutional affiliations (which is nothing more than misguided) is simply a shame and frustrating.