Racism Against Us Biracials

Thanks for the intriguing and interesting comments and cheers. Sorry I don’t have time to respond.

 

Today I am posting because I had enough of people commenting on what biraciality represents–whether it’s the “positive” side of being a “bridge” or always “having a choice” or the negative side of “being confused.”

 

This Sunday morning on the New York Times, on the top page, there was an article that infuriated me. I am not going into the details (again, lack of time), but I will just give you the quote that annoyed me the most: “Even his eyes — one brown, the other green — hint at roots in two places.”  In the context of the article, which makes mention about how “troubled” and “confused” he was, the implication that his “mixed roots” contributed to his “confusion” seems pretty solid. This is a remix of the “tragic” and “confused” mulatto narrative that I am tired of hearing and tired of being subjected to.

 

It’s harder to marry (or get together with) someone with whom you don’t share a common language, culture, or set of beliefs.  That’s partially why international (and sometimes inter-racial) marriages have a seemingly lower “success” rate. (If you consider the length of time being together the only measure of a “successful” marriage.) Kids who have parents with a strong and solid relationship, regardless of their race(s) or nationality/ies, often turn out fine. The ones who come out “troubled” are the ones who had parents who couldn’t communicate solidly irrespective of their differences or commonalities. With “troubled” children who come from “mixed” backgrounds, people are too happy to point to that as the cause of a majority of their “problems.”  Really, the world is a bit more complicated than that. Not that I trust journalism that much, but this level is just too low.

 

 

The rest of the article is here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/22/us/22terror.html?hp=&pagewanted=all

 

 

 

“Diverse” Continued

I don’t mean to undermine the efforts to spread the awareness that Jews exist in all colors.

But, the way that that is being propagated lately makes me a little uncomfortable.

When you look at the posters of “diverse” Jews in America, you always see a “black” face, an “Asian” face, and a “Middle-Eastern” face. To the trained eye,  it looks like this: There is an African-American, who either is born Jewish or converted (there is no way of telling, really. From my experience, both are equally likely with African-American looking people). There is usually also that Ethiopian face (which, needless to say, is usually someone born Jewish). The “Asian” face is usually an Asian girl, who was probably adopted by “white” Jewish parents. (Sorry for the stereo-typing, but I haven’t met an exception to this one yet.) The Middle-Eastern looking person could be a Yeminite Jew, or a Arabic-Jew with slightly tan skin. Occasionally, you also see a mixed-race child (although if there is, that tends to be an Asian-White child, like me).

I look at this and think…. Well, it’s great that there are advertising this…. But, we are not all the same. In fact, we have such a different history from one another. To lump us all together like this seems a little problematic because that shows me more than anything else that we are “the Other” Jewish population. I almost hear a voice saying, The Black ones, Asian ones, Middle Eastern ones (to a lesser extent) are all “weird” but we are going to bite our tongues and say, “we must embrace all the diverse Jews among us.”

Let’s get real for a second:

The existence of biracial and multiracial Jews (born Jewish or with a Jewish parent) is a pretty new (by which I mean about a half-century old) phenomenon which has a lot to do with the increased ease of movement between varying regions and countries, banning of anti-miscegenation (interracial marriage) laws (for more on this, look here), and the increased acceptance of such children in the general Jewish community. At least in the US. The Caribbean islands is one of the most interesting and earliest sites (to the best of my knowledge) that gave rise to this phenomenon that still continues till today.

The existence of black American Jews has its own rich history (details of which I don’t know yet) which goes back to as far as the mid-nineteenth-century in the US and also has links to the Black Pride Movement.

The Ethiopians Jews and Middle Eastern Jews, as a collective, have been Jews for ever. That they get lumped together with “us” newer-phenomenon Jews seems to point to the real reason all of this bothers me.

So many of those visuals that try to tout “diversity” in the Jewish communities seem to focus on the “Wow! You are a Jew?” factor that comes from the “general” (which is the “white”) Jewish population and does not seem to take into account “our” perspectives or even basic histories–the perspective of the ones who are being lumped together to compose the “mosaic” or “diverse face of Judaism today.” Honestly, when I see those visual images (and may I add that anything advertising something Jewish still uses the dark curly-haired white-skinned 20-something girl most often), I feel like I am being used to show to the rest of the (non-Jewish) American world, that “yes! We too, are ‘diverse’ like the rest of America!” (Assimilation complete!) Cynical? Perhaps.

This is a post I hesitated to post because I don’t want to shoot the positive movement of trying to diversify people’s ideas of who a Jew is. At the same time, I felt compelled to upload this because, really, it’s quite irritating that “diverse” is being used to only mean “non-white” and I think that use really needs to stop. Otherwise, real normalization can’t happen and we “diverse” Jews will always remain on the margin.

What alternatives remain then? I have ideas, but not now. To be continued…. Maybe….

 

“Diverse” as a Euphemism

The other day I was standing in line in a post office in Harlem.

I turned to a woman behind me, who was the only other “white”(-ish) face in the post office and asked, “how do you like living here?” She said, “oh, you are thinking of moving here?” I said, yes, and she started off by saying, “Well, it’s…”diverse” around here, so you know, you have to like that.”

I thought to myself, “diverse”?
We are in the middle of Harlem.

Or, maybe, she means that there is also a Latino population?? Was she referring to the large African immigrant population? Somehow I wasn’t sure that she was even aware of the difference between African-Americans and the recent African immigrants. What does she mean?

It kind of bugged me, made me self-conscious, and also made me regret having asked her that question in the first place.

She also told me that she had heard that it got “noisy” in the summers–but perhaps, she quickly added, that was true about anywhere in Manhattan.

“Noisy?” You mean, people hanging out in the streets? I don’t understand. What’s wrong with that? If you don’t want that, shouldn’t you be living in a place where you can buy an acre of land for the same price you pay for a tiny apartment in Manhattan?

My head was full of question marks.

I didn’t understand why someone would want to move to Harlem if they were so uncomfortable around the African-American community. Harlem has been a black neighborhood for over a century and bears the richness of it.

Having had more time afterwards to put things together I came to the conclusion that she in fact was using the word “diverse” to mean that “it wasn’t white.” Wow….I thought.

Another woman walked in who looked closer to my age and friendly-looking after I had already engaged in discussion with this other one, and I really wished that I had asked the same question to her instead. She was black (like everyone else in the post office ), but didn’t look like she was a long-time resident there and that was my point: Asking someone who was new to the neighborhood what it was like coming in as a new-comer to the area.

This incident reminded me of how the word “diverse” is often used in the Jewish community as well. Isn’t “diverse” also used to mean “not white,”  including the Sephardic community, in many American Jewish communities?

Te be continued…. maybe

 

Discontinued!? No!!!!

I grew up on this stuff. Even though now I can drink coffee, I definitely prefer…well, I guess now, “prefered” would be correct…this stuff to coffee: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postum. But this entry brings the news, it has been discontinued. Now I must make it myself if I want to replicate this delicious and better-than-coffee taste by following these instructions: http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1630,149185-250198,00.html

In case you haven’t noticed, I love food and have great attachments to certain foods… Unfortunately, I would make a very bad Buddhist…

 

Very Sad

http://ayecha.org/

This is one of the most inspiring organizations I have been involved with. Very sad to hear that they have closed their doors.

 

Talking Politics

I believe that in the blogosphere, for many reasons, I should keep my political opinions to myself. But, I was compelled to write something. But then again, I decided that no–my opinion is not going to change any political outcome anyway (the states that I vote in always vote the same) and it just jeopardizes me, so why should I bother. But really, I have been compelled to say something so many times…

Having said that, I will state this much: I will vote this election because I have to for external reasons. Not because I want to. The candidate that I will vote for I don’t particularly like–many critics have pointed out the reasons why I don’t like him. In fact, personality-wise, I think I like his opponent better. If I were voting based on character and personal like and dislike, my choice would be the opposite of what I will do. But I will vote for the candidate that I will because I perfer this particular candidate’s policy a whole lot better than his opponents’. (Well at least I am revealing that I am not voting for any of the smaller parties, but sticking to the major ones…)

And I am sad that again this election season, I can use the pronoun “he” to describe both Republican and Democratic presentential candidates. I wish that I had to come up with a creative way to refer to the presedential candidates without the feminine or masculine pronouns. Or better yet, if I could use “she” for both presidential candidates! ;)

 

The Recent Controversy Over the Kotel and Obama

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1006186.html

What made my jaw drop in Maariv’s response to the outrage expressed by a Jerusalem lawyer: “since he [Sen. Obama] is not Jewish, there is no violation of privacy as there would be for a Jewish person who places a note in the wall“

Obnoxious…. That’s all I’ve got to say.

 

Telling Off a Rabbi

I’ve done this once.

And it wasn’t even a rabbi that I knew well.

Why? Because from the pulpit, he gave a great long speech about the dangers of intermarriage and how that was going to decrease the numbers of Jews.

Really annoyed at hearing this rant against intermarriage as the source of the problem again I decided to say something about it. (One of the reasons why people looked at me with amazement when in college was because they were all brain-washed to believe that all kids of intermarriage were permanantly lost to the tribe!)

Now, this rabbi’s custom was to shake hands with everyone as they left shul after a long and arduous fast. So when it came my turn, I told him, “Thank you for including me in your shul. By the way, I just wanted to let you know that I am from an intermarried couple.”

I think that sufficized to make my point. My hosts were the family of a friend from college and they knew me and they were members of the shul. Obviously, I was not some lost and confused soul who happened upon the shul.

I don’t know if that made a difference in the way the rabbi thought about children of intermarriage.

By the way, this article eloquently articulates a point that I have been making for years: That intermarriage itself is not the source of evil, but rather, that it is the symptom of indifference towards Judaism. I thank the author for writing this and publishing it in a journal. One point I would add though, is that it is good to know that in fact, perhaps because of their backgrounds, children of intermarried couples often engage with Judaism with a lot more fervour than the average two-Jewish-parented Jew when they decide to. And you know what, it’s not so uncommon.

 

Having Something Directed at You and Not 当事者であること

This has been one of the wars I have been waging in my Japanese blog (you can look at this post (in Japanese) if you want to hear it most directly): That is, it’s very difficult to hear or even notice prejudiced remarks that are not directed at you.

This is one of the most infuriating things about people telling me that I am mistaken about something that I heard or saw directed at me. Granted, there is a fine line between being overly self-conscious and thinking that the whole world revolves around you (and so thinking that any comment made to a “stranger” is directed towards you) versus just noticing things when people are being slyly (or not so subtly) prejudiced.

Growing up a minority where that reality is allowed to escape so rarely though, I must say that it is slightly difficult (I am being sarcastic by saying “slightly”) not to be a little self-conscious and nervous about people looking at you weird. The “well-adjusted” person who has been so scarcely in a position where they really are minorities (I’m not talking about people who have “minority conscience” but have really not experienced living as a minority), often tells me and other minorities, “Stop being so self-conscious. People are not talking about you.”

I have heard comments like this coming from many mono-racial/ethnic parents of multiracial individuals. I have also heard this coming from Ashkenazi Jews (particularly of an older generation though not always) who hear the experience of non-Ashkenazi Jews as being made to feel uncomfortable by their Ashkenazi counterparts.

For the parents, it’s hurtful and sometimes unbelievable to them that their kids’ lived experience as a Jew or a person might be different from theirs. They also have never been in their kids’ shoes and just can’t see those stares coming from across the crosswalk, the questioning gaze of the stranger in shul, the quick back and forth of the eyes between them and their parents.

For the Ashkenazi Jews, they don’t notice the strange stares and pregnant silences directed at the “Jew of Color.” What they see is their self-image of the smiling and inviting faces that say nothing wrong and accepts with open arms, the (“honestly strange, but I’m not going to say that!!”) “stranger” amidst them. What this “do-good” “non-prejudiced” person doesn’t see is the many others who are shying away and even giving strange looks to the person who is “being welcomed with open arms.” You might be doing your best, but if you can’t tell other people to the same, if you can’t advocate for the minority that is still feeling uncomfortable, the only thing you’ve done is to raise your own status for being the courageous cool person that is able to “reach out” to the (obvious) “stranger.” Very annoying indeed to be used that way.

From my perspective, the “racist” who knows that she is a “racist” is a lot easier to deal with. And I will make full disclosure that I am “racist” too. Not in that I discriminate against people, but in that I am also prone to making certain assumptions about people based on their appearence. I also don’t know about everyone’s experience so I make mistakes in my assumptions. My ignorance can sometimes hurt someone. I know that and so I try to rain it in, but I am not always sucessful.

I am closing with a story that I hope illustrates my point better:

In a part of the country that is known as being “very liberal,” I once stood in line at a drug store behind an old black American woman. A white employee, when trying to pass by her, mistakenly brushed against her. She was angry, thinking that he had done that in purpose because she was black. As I listened to her rant, I thought, “Well, I do think that she is a little crazy, but I also know where that is coming from. She is obviously from a generation where racism against blacks were rampent and the norm. 20years ago, that might actually been a racist act. How is she to know that today in this area, that is unlikely. (Also I saw the young employee’s genuinely surprised face, which told me that he had hardly noticed that he had even touched her.) Most of life experience tells her that that was a racist act.”

Note: By the way, at my “home shul,” I haven’t really had any of these problems at all. That’s one of the reasons I feel so very comfortable there all the time.

 

Being a Soupaterian

I am a fishaterian as a way of compromise. Really, I want to be a Breatharian, but I don’t find that feasible.

Misha once told me about the Breatharian guru in Santa Cruz.

Apparently, there was a scandal in Santa Cruz because the Breatharian guru who was preaching to others to not eat food, was spotted walking out of the local burger shop with a big fat hamburger in his hand.

I know…. It’s not possible for us to live entirely on bacteria-free water and air. I know I know and yet that’s what I would LOVE to do.

I sometimes turn into a breatharian part-time. This stems from the fact that I have a not such good habit of frequently turning into a breatharian during the day when Misha is not around to put food on the table. This is especially likely to happen when my work is going well and I am really into what I am doing. I keep saying, “oh, let me just finish this up and then I will get up and have that rice.” But really, that moment keeps getting pushed off until, well, Misha’s turns up.

Slightly concerned about my state of health, Misha recently started to tell me exactly what kind of ready-to-eat cooked food is in the refrigeator. Today, he had told me about 味噌汁　(miso soup) in the fridge. So, I turned into a soupatarian until Misha’s return.