Hooked

So, there is a TV show that I am totally hooked on: The Good Wife.

I love the acting, I like a lot of the scripting, and I am finding the twists and turns the story is taking intriguing.

I watch it through Netflix and online.

 

Being called “sweet”

Today I overheard someone saying that I “seemed sweet.” Just in case you were wondering, this is NOT a compliment, particularly when it is directed at an Asian(-looking) woman.

The connotation in this case seems to fall along the lines of thinking of me as cute, non-threatening, helpless, demure, and a follower. In the American context of things, these qualities do not seem to spell out “virtue.” Pretty condescending.

What should I say? What can I say? I wonder. Memories of college days come flooding back when people in the (mostly white) Jewish community saw and described me as “that sweet Asian-Jewish girl.”

 

Harassment, Bullying (いじめ), and 許されざること(Unforgivable Things)

In the past decade, for the first time in my life, I was harassed by a particular individual as a woman. It made me acutely aware of my womanhood in the most unwelcome way. It also made me doubt myself and my actions during the time. That was the most difficult part of it. I was able to pull through despite that in large part because I had the support of Misha and my mother who continually affirmed that I was not at fault. I never thought that I would fall into the trap of thinking that somehow I solicited the comments, and yet, I did.

 

I find what I experienced completely unforgivable. Knowing of others who experienced similar things to by the same person, I find all of this entirely unforgivable.

 

I weighed my options and figured that at this point, bringing on a formal complaint would not accomplish what I need or want. The only thing that would help me feel like I have done something right in the face of an absolute wrong like this is to swear: When and where I am made aware of it, I will not allow it.

 

At the same time, I am aware of the possibility of my possibly becoming a perpetuator and sorely do not want to be. I declare here that I will be diligent about monitoring my own behavior so that I do not make others feels uncomfortable within reasonable grounds.

 

 

“An Ex Has Recently Searched For You”

I often get junk mail with this title.

 

Each time I see it, I think, what a stupid title.

 

If I were to be somehow moved by this statement, most likely the “ex” would not be an ex.

 

In my case, anyway.

 

I guess I should count my lucky stars.

 

LA Jewish Community Event for Disaster Relief in Japan

Way to go the Skirball Center!!

 

http://www.conspiracyofkindnessevent.com/

 

This is a fundraiser for victims of the earthquake and tsunami that hit eastern Japan on March 11.

 

Thursday, June 23 at 7:30pm. For more info, click on the link above….

 

Exposing Myself

I belong to a Japanese playgroup–primarily for Leo so that he can learn Japanese in a natural social environment. Surprisingly, I have made good friends through that. Misha points out that this is my first time relating to the ex-pat Japanese community in the US.

 

I just offered on their website to talk about my experiences growing up bilingual (Japanese and English) and bicultural (Japanese and American, although I actually think that I grew up more Japanese and Jewish-American, which makes me wonder if that actually makes it tricultural? Or bi-point-five cultural??).

 

This is a very scary thing. People constantly want to ask me about this and I offer my perspective, which I don’t particularly like doing in a way because without an established friendship, this person is only intruding on my privacy and using me to satisfy their base curiosity. Once I have satisfied their curiosity, I am discarded like a cheap gossip magazine. It feels horrible. So for me to come and say that I am going to talk about myself like this in the open, to offer it voluntarily, is a HUGE deal. I also know how hard it is for a lot of these parents to hear the implications and difficulties of growing up this way and their desires to dismiss them in favor of thinking “it would be different in America,” or “it would be different for my children,” or simply treating it as a part of teenage angst that they think they will “eventually grow out of.”

 

I have had a blog in Japanese where I dedicated to talking about stuff like this and I had a few dedicated ex-pat Japanese moms with (usually) bi-racial kids (not as old as me) reading it. When I expressed anxiety over the social issues that surround mixed-race people, they assured me that I would grow out of it when I got “older,” when I got married, when I had my own child(ren)…. This was clearly coming from people who did not grow up as minorities and had no idea what it meant to be a true minority, not by choice.

 

The nature of racism is that it doesn’t go away just because you decide “to be stronger” or something “more important in life” pops up for you. The reality does not change unless you confront it. Thus, the life of a minority can be really challenging throughout life. One of the reasons I put myself out there like this (albeit anonymously)? Because I don’t want to see any more children with profiles similar to me suffering from needlessly ignorant and thoughtless comments and deeds by others. So, it’s scary putting out my thoughts and experiences there and each time risking the comments and looks, “that’s YOUR personal experience. How do you know that’s true for anyone whose mixed?” “That sounds whiny. I think that if you had better things to care about in life…” “I think you are just oversensitive.” etc. But, I do it. I do it for the young me, for the other children past, present, and future, like me.

 

If you want to meet the guys helping out evacuees in Japan…

Come to Deli Kasbah on Sunday, June 5th from 1-3pm.

 

You can meet the rabbi providing the inspiration and organization and Mr. Mutoh, who is the one enabling Rabbi Binyomin to do what he does.

 

Fascinating Article on the Advantages of Growing Up Bilingual

My mom sent along the following article about bilingualism from the New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/31/science/31conversation.html
Fascinating.

So, I grew up bilingual in English and Japanese. Leo is growing up trilingual in Japanese, Hebrew, and English. Growing up bilingual is not always easy. And I imagine that growing up trilingual, especially in such different languages, can be too. I sometimes question our decision, but feeling the importance of sharing my primary native language with my children, and believing in the importance of knowing Hebrew for a Jewish person, it’s not exactly something that we can go back on. I can only offer support and understanding when the difficult moments approach.

 

The Best Place to Give Money for Disaster Relief in Japan

A reliable source tells me that this is the best place to give money right now to help the disaster-stricken population. Reports of their activities are written on the blog.

Let me be upfront: I have very mixed feelings about Chabad as a movement although that is (obviously!!) not to say that I discriminate against individuals who are Chabad or were brought up Chabad. Despite that, this is my recommendation.

http://chabadjapan.org/blog_e/

 

Jewshi from my home community

Jewshi take-away!!! This coming Sunday May 29th, the JJW (Japanese Jewish Women) will again make available for take-out  delitious Jewshi (maki) and dessert (chiffon cake). These delitious items will be ready for sale at 12:15 pm in the premises of the JCC, at 300 Yen each. Take a few moments to come out of the car and get a package or two for your family! A nice snack for you and your children after an intense morning of learning and fun. Don’t miss it! First come, first served! Moderate prices! K o s h e r !

Copyright (C) 2011 Jewish Community of Japan All rights reserved.